The Duke's Forbidden Ward by Millie Adams

Author:Millie Adams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2022-01-21T13:57:10+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

It was dark in the bedchamber. Because the curtains were closed. She could see him, though.

Next to her in bed.

He was on top of the bedclothes, on his stomach.

It was the strangest thing. To be in bed with Hugh. He was naked, and she could look at him. Touch him. So she did. She ran her fingers down the centre of his back, down further still, and she marvelled as his body began to stir.

‘You’re beautiful,’ she whispered.

He was dozing, and in all the years she’d known him she had never seen him sleep. She had never seen him naked. She had never been alone with him quite like this. And this was why. It all made sense now. Now that she had jumped into a life of ruination. She could understand it all. This was why women had to be so careful.

Because passion was overwhelming. And the consequences all seemed... Reasonable. When he had touched her, it had all seemed reasonable. And she realised that what she had determined only a couple of hours ago was folly. For many reasons. The biggest of which was...

She could not be with him like this when he had a wife.

The thought made her physically ill.

How had she thought she might share him?

And Anna would know. Every night she wasn’t in bed with him, she would know. Just as Eleanor would know where he was when he wasn’t in bed with her.

And it had all seemed bearable when it had been a choice between that and never touching him again. It all seemed bearable then.

And even now she didn’t regret her ruination. She had no choice now, though. She could escape still without rumour attached to her. But she was a fallen woman, there was no denying it. No escaping it. She would go to Beatrice, who would help her. She would understand. She would understand why Eleanor had made this choice, and Briggs would write her reference. She was certain of that. She would be able to find a position as a governess.

She didn’t have to be a mistress.

And you’ll be alone. For ever. For the rest of your life.

She wouldn’t be alone. She could salvage her reputation, and she could have her friend.

She couldn’t have Hugh either way. That was the thing. Not really.

She lay there another moment. Looking at him. And she thought of all those beautiful dresses in her room that she wouldn’t get to wear. And nearly laughed, because she would’ve traded them all in for a few hours of wearing nothing with him. And she had. She knew things about herself now. She knew things about mistresses she hadn’t known before. And that was the real problem.

It was the knowing. Knowing that sharing him meant he would be inside another woman, lying next to her. That she would watch him sleep. It was these little things that in her innocence she had not fully understood. That she did now.

Yes. It was those things she could not overlook.

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